**Apologies for the vagueblogging, but I've been having a week/month/year lately so, you know, if you can't vent on social media, what is is all for, in the end?**
Attitude and respect are important, especially when you’re trying to ask something of someone. People’s time and effort are valuable and non-renewable; once used up, they are gone forever. Appreciating that before, after, and especially in the moment that you are asking them to spend that precious resource on you is vital.
I’m trying to remind myself that I should never have to apologize for having a life I love. I’ve worked incredibly hard for it. I continue to work incredibly hard for it. There are many aspects of my life—from my friends to my partners to my work to my passions—that I feel immensely lucky to have, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve them.
I must remember: Making myself miserable will never help someone who is miserable feel better. Even if they are struggling, if their response to that struggle is to force me to struggle—not ask me for help or be willing to discuss ways that we can help each other ease their stress, but demand and expect their struggle to become mine—I have the right and the responsibility to myself and the people who already rely on me to walk away. Refusing to allow a miserable person make my life miserable by treating me like garbage does not make me an awful or selfish person. That idea is a trap; one I have fallen into too many times in my life. It cannot make them better; it can only make me worse.
And anyone who would ask that of me doesn’t deserve anything from me.